Well, Come On In (The Machines Are Singin')

It's Google I/O week — the biggest AI circus of the year just opened its tent. Google's promising Gemini 4 and AI agents that write your code, shop for your groceries, and run your calendar. Anthropic just committed $200 billion to Google's cloud while raising at a $900 billion valuation. GPT-5.5 quietly moved into everyone's phone as the default. Meta's "Avocado" model is still hiding somewhere in the vineyard. And somewhere in a workshop, Jony Ive is allegedly designing a gadget that might make all of this fit in your pocket.

This week's song is a singalong. Learn the chorus. It's three words.

[Verse 1] Oh, gather round the campfire, friends, and listen while I sing Of the strangest week in Silicon since nearly everything On Tuesday morning Google threw the doors wide open wide And a hundred thousand developers came streaming in from every side

[Chorus] Well, come on in, the machines are singin' Come on in, the models are ringin' Anthropic, Google, OpenAI too They're all fighting hard for a piece of you Well, come on in, the models are ringin'

[Verse 2] Old Sundar stood up on that stage beneath the mountain's brow Said, "We've got Gemini Four, friends, and we'll show you how" "The agents write the code now, they can shop and search and roam" "And the TPU chips we're making, well, we'll sell them for your home"

[Chorus] Well, come on in, the machines are singin' Come on in, the models are ringin' Anthropic, Google, OpenAI too They're all fighting hard for a piece of you Well, come on in, the models are ringin'

[Verse 3] Now Anthropic's got a valuation, nine hundred billion strong They committed all their compute to Google all along Two hundred billion dollars just to rent the mountain's cloud Old Dario said "We'll build it!" and the investors cheered out loud

[Bridge] And what about poor Meta, with Avocado on the vine? They said "We'll ship in June, y'all, we just needed more time" While GPT-5.5 moved in on every phone and screen The most-used model on the planet, if you know what I mean

[Verse 4] Now some say Jony Ive is building something in a drawer A pocket-sized AI gadget, no apps, just a whole lot more OpenAI won't confirm it but the whispers fill the air Like a banjo chord that's hanging, just a-floating everywhere

[Chorus] Well, come on in, the machines are singin' Come on in, the models are ringin' Anthropic, Google, OpenAI too They're all fighting hard for a piece of you Well, come on in, the models are ringin'

[Outro] So here we sit by firelight with our keyboards on our knees Wondering which of all these models is the one that's gonna please But whichever way the wind blows, friend, I'll tell you what I know The banjo's still a-playing while the data starts to flow

Well, come on in... the machines are singin' Come on in... the models are ringin' Come on in...